“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day.” – Einstein
I never quite lived up to my full potential as a tennis player. And I don’t think it was because of a lack of skill or talent, or because I was a late bloomer physically. Instead, I think it was because I didn’t master an essential aspect of tennis—and an essential aspect of all pursuits in life—the inner game.
The inner game is a term that has become popular in the sport and business world, and it refers to the idea that we are always playing two games simultaneously. One game happens in the outer world. In my case, it was played with a racket on a tennis court. The other game, the inner game, is played in the mind. And, like the outer game, the inner game has its own rules, objectives, and challenges.
Unfortunately, the inner game is rarely taught in schools, on athletic fields, and in businesses, leaving people to figure their minds out for themselves. And you’ve probably noticed that the mind does not come with an owner’s manual, and sometimes it even seems to have a mind of its own! It’s quite counter-intuitive that one of the most sophisticated and powerful instruments on the planet, the mind, is something that most people receive almost no formal training on. When we were in school growing up, we learned how to do math, how to read and write, and all kinds of useful things, but most of us never received formal instruction on how to use our minds. We were never taught how to focus—although we were told to “focus” many times—and not to even mention how to access states of peak performance or creativity. The cost of this lack of training in terms of performance, quality of life, and self-image, among others, can be large.
I like to think of personal development coaching as coaching for the inner game. And the great thing about the inner game is that it applies equally to all areas of life. In my case, after studying meditation and martial arts for several years, I found that my tennis game had improved, despite playing tennis almost not at all during that time! I’ve also found that the inner game has helped me to excel in academics and work and to bring a heightened enjoyment to everyday life.
One of the foundational secrets to the inner game is curiosity. Curiosity is the place we start from in coaching. Curiosity is the state where optimal growth can occur, and it is something that is very familiar to children. Unfortunately, most of our lives are filled with judgment. Have you noticed? From a young age we become accustomed to living in an environment of continual judgment—being judged, judging ourselves, and judging others. And in judgment there is no place for curiosity. In judgment there are only two options; whereas, in a state of curiosity, the possibilities are limitless. When we are in judgment, our brains and bodies are on alert, scanning the environment for threats, but when we are in curiosity, our brains and bodies open up to new ways of processing the world. We drop into a parasympathetic—rest and recovery state—and we are able to work much more easily with our experience.
When people think of coaching, they normally think of life coaching, but the world of coaching is much more than that. While traditional approaches can be great in the right context, they can also be a bit too “heady” and conceptual. In the work I do, I strive to address all levels of the conscious and subconscious mind and body. I draw on systems of change-work from the East and the West to provide clients with the “tools” and “user guides” they need to come to a place of greater congruency and mastery in the inner game.
Curious to learn more about the possibilities that mastering your inner game could open for you? Email me to set up a time for a free discovery call: willsreedcoaching@gmail.com
Inner Path Coaching 